Curriculum

The Curriculum falls naturally into four parts, which correspond to the three major child development stages and a general subject area for Family Matters. The early tutorials follow the traditional parenting plans as still found in most tribal communities in the Third World where children live in their Mother’s House for the first seven years, their Father’s House for the next seven years and then progress on puberty into the House of their Guardian or Mentor. Remember that no child sticks to a rigid agenda for development and therefore some of the information in one section may overlap in any individual experience. Thus, the curriculum is divided into those aspects of fatherhood that you are likely to encounter in each major period:

Part One, “The Primary Years”, deals with the transition from safe, secure bachelorhood and Dinky (Double Income No Kids Yet) existence into the trauma of imminent fatherhood, infancy and the early years, through the ‘Leglimpet Stage’ up to about the age of 6 years old.

Part Two, “The Middle Ages”, focuses on the intermediate years as your child turns from the primary focus on its mother to you, as a father, for a whole range of guidance, direction and support. This is the ‘Tweenie Stage’ where they are trying to establish their boundaries and capabilities and lasts up until they are about 13 years old.

Part Three, “Senior Students”, projects you forward through the Teenage Time Tunnel where your children transmogrify into ‘Gangly Lions’ and you will face the challenges of young adult rebellion, education, career planning and off-loading your loved ones so that they do NOT remain KIPPERS (Kids in Parents’ Pockets Eating Up Retirement Savings). With luck, it only lasts until they are about 21 years old.

Part Four, “Family Matters” (All Ages). This final part of the Daddy’s Course deals with those issues that you are likely to come across whether your offspring are Leg Limpets, Tweenies or Gangly Lions and, because of the nature of the material, it is rather more reflective, laden with gravitas and, at times, downright critical of current social and political practice. There are many things that your Little Ones are going to spring upon you in the years to come. Not all of them will be welcome, timely or cheap. This section of the book deals how you might handle them and ensure your sanity, marriage and bank account. There are some interesting thoughts on the Application of Fatherhood Theory to Business and Management just so that you can get your company / boss to send you on a seminar that will allow you to discuss all of this and pay you to do it as well. Now there’s an offer your wife won’t refuse!

The Curriculum is laid out, within the 4 Parts described above, as Tutorial notes and offers advice, exercises and, of course, homework. Some of these are for completion with wives/partners and are designed not only to illuminate, but also to raise important issues for you to discuss if you ever get the chance to talk sensibly together again once you‘ve had children. Even if appalled at the idea of having to complete this Coursework, we urge all students to try it in the safe knowledge that SHE will wholly approve of their interest and participation in learning about active parenting. If you find suggestions that you don’t like then please feel free to ignore them. Whilst we would like our students to try new practices, if something really doesn’t appeal to them then we don’t torture them with guilt, we just allow their wives/partners to do that for you when she finds out that they have skipped a few exercises. Note that Mums, as the appropriate local Chief Examiners, can monitor the progress of their particular students through a checklist (add Link to Final Exam) to ensure that homework is not shirked. A Graduation Certificate has been included for issue to good boys – just make sure you get a playtime bonus when SHE issues it.

You don’t think we’d give away all the questions and answers before you’ve done the Course do you? Follow this link to “Find out how you pass the Final Exam".